Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
