just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You can't special order awesome
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
