I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
