its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
