I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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