i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
