every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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