You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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