Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
