What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
