they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
