Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
