Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
