ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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