Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
