Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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