he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i think we sleep fucked last night...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
