In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
