garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize