For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
