Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Bring me that man meat
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
