Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry melissawb2012 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(716): View more from New York

it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

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(443): View more from Maryland

He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid

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(562): View more from California

don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life

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(217): View more from Illinois

I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.

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(718): View more from New York

I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on

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