I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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