no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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