Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
