8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
