you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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