oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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