I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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