found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
