i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
