Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize