I cut my penus on the lid.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
