he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize