Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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