Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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