Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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