I must be too annoying 4 u.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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