that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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