Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
