Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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