i barfeds in our rink
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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