Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I supernannyed him into submission
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
