i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
