she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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