Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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