East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
