Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
