love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
