i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize