Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
