first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
