so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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