I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
