my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
