Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
