Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize