I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize