I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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