when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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