It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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