upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
well you can't waste a boner
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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