I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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