dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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