Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
