Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
