Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
