worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
