2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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