Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
